The Mental Load of the Holidays

Holiday celebrations have shifted over time, particularly with more emphasis on commercialism and gift giving. There are ideas everywhere of what Christmas or any holy day this time of year should look like.  As a result, I believe, many of us are carrying an extra mental load of stress and overwhelm. 

Some of us aren't even aware it exists. That can be a problem because we are acting without realizing how hard this time of year can be. We are not consciously deciding what we want this holiday to look like or what changes we can make. We may be following the crowd, the rest of the family, previous traditions, or expectations. 

Note, not everyone feels this mental load. Some are bubbling with excitement and have an attitude that supersedes or brushes off any stress. Some are able to maintain the focus on the real reason they celebrate, and don't get caught up in the extra expectations.

This mental load so many of us carry is the reason I write about about planning ahead for Christmas in November. It's why I suggest you potentially eliminate gift recipients, reduce activities and tasks. I want you to create a season that is meaningful yet less stressful, too. 

If you were sitting right in front of me, I would probably ask you lots of questions to understand your specific situation. And the first one might be, what is the thing that is most stressful for you this time of year? Is there anything at all that could be changed about that to help reduce that stress? 

Sometimes it's not just our actions that lighten the mental load, but the attitude about a situation. Yes, we could eliminate gift recipients, but if that isn't possible, what type of gift could be given that is easier? Cash or a gift card? The same gift for everyone? Our attitude about that type of change could be negative, thinking 'no, that won't work'. But what if it did work? What if your attitude was focused on how relieved you are to not have to focus on each person's gift individually? What if we cared just a little less about being approved of for the gift we have given? What if we know that the thought and generosity counts. 

It really is okay to say no. Kindly, if possible. In fact, you don't have to say no for every year to come, maybe just this year.  Just this year, you opt out of that party that stresses you more than any other. Or just this year, you don't buy for some family members. Try it on, start negotiating other ideas that might be welcome to everyone, such as gift exchanges, buying only for children, or doing an activity together instead of gifts. 

I want you to feel peace, relaxation, love and communion of family and friends, not the stress of getting the right gift or putting up the perfect decorations. 

What can you do this season, this month, this week, or just today to reduce that mental load? What can you change? What can you accept?